Despite that breakup happen last Saturday,it’s still hard for me to imagine to commit such acts.I have to admit,this is by far,the hardest decision I’ve ever made but I believe it’s the right thing to do.I felt for her,to be honest.She’s innocent,instead I’m the one should feel guilty towards her.For several weeks,continuous call and chat from me bombarding her inbox,making her insecure and annoyed.Despite those messages come in form of greetings,I can tell she’s no longer bothered to reply nor receive it.I think my biggest mistake is to tell her my true feelings.It’s been a while we’re being friends,try to watch each other out.And then,I dropped that bloody bombshell.My gut tells me,don’t do it but I’m adamant,whether she like it or not,I will tell her the truth no matter the consequence.In the end,I’m on that receiving end,devastated,disappointed,crushed.You name it,it’s hard.My pride is badly bruised.Everything turned sour with she started to distance herself away from me.I tried to reverse everything back to normal but it’s too late.That reason forced me to erase everything that linked to her.If anyone asked me who’s this lucky girl,there is no way I’ll provide her name.I will only describe her as pretty,kind-hearted,cheerful and very warm.The last thing I want to do is to humiliate her by providing her real name.I want to see her dignity,her pride remain intact.Although I can still feel the pain but I hope someday,maybe we’re be friends once again.Maybe we’re not compatible at all.
Tag Archive: breakup
Pabila aku jatuh cinta
segalanya berubah sekelip mata
bak kata orang
mandi tak basah
tidur tak lena
makan tak lalu
bagaikan orang terpukau
dipanah asmara yang membara
Pabila aku jatuh cinta
segalanya dirasakan
terlalu indah pada pancaindera ini
pada penglihatanku
kaulah wanita idaman
setiap lelaki
kau terlalu rupawan
walau aku sedar
duniaku dan duniamu
ibarat langit dan bumi
akan ku seberangi
demi menggapai sebuah impian
bersama sehingga ke akhirnya
Namun
langit tidak selalunya cerah
ternyata kau melihatku
hanyalah sebuah boneka
pabila puas dipermainkan
dibuang begitu sahaja
kata orang tua
habis madu sepah dibuangnya
hatiku hancur berkecai
jatuh ke bumi ini
terhiris dengan perbuatanmu itu
apakah begitu rendah
nilai maruahku ini?
sesungguhnya
aku menyintaimu sepenuh jiwa
tetapi inikah pembalasannya?
Pabila aku jatuh cinta
kembali menerima sinar bahagia
kau muncul kembali
menagih kepulanganku
berserta kemaafan
yang tidak seberapa
jawapanku kepadamu
carilah kebahagiaanmu sendiri
mungkin kita berdua
tidak cocok sama sekali
mungkin di luar sana
masih ada hati
menanti untuk dipetik
aku masih terluka
akan pengkhianatanmu
walaupun kalimah maaf itu
terpacul dari lisanmu
hatiku sudah tertutup kepadamu
pulanglah ke tempatmu
aku lebih bahagia
dari masa lalu
Pabila aku mendengar
deraian tangisanmu
adakah aku begitu kejam
sehingga ke tahap itu?
tetapi kebenaran itu
cukup menyakitkan
kalau si penyampai
serba salah dan gelisah
inikan pula si penerimanya
maafkan aku
tetapi inilah hakikatnya
burulah kebahagiaan
yang sentiasa melepasi
genggaman eratmu itu
aku sentiasa berdoa
moga kau dan aku bahagia
walaupun kita berada
di haluan berbeza
tetapi di akhirnya
kita ketemu jua
This poem is an adaptation from song title ‘Bila Aku Jatuh Cinta’ or ‘When I Fall in Love’ sang by Malaysian artist,Awi Rafael.In his interview,he write and compose this song,based on his own experience when he actually fall in love with.However,his relationship ended with him feel the excruciating pain of misery,disappointment and sadness.If you’re listen closely to that song,you can feel his feelings to his former girlfriend remain strong as ever.However,he accepted that between him and her,maybe this is a better end for both sides.
As for me,I dedicate this poem and that song to myself and others who still suffering the same condition.We have to accept,she may beyond our reach and we have to take it to the chin,realizing that we’re not a good match after all.Move on and carry on with our lives.Of course,it is sucks but then again,it is parts and parcels of life.Why we should dwell on the past while we have other things that need to worry about?I’m sure God or for Muslims,Allah have plans for all of us.Who knows,we might find someone even better out there,treating our wounds and move together to pursue a happy ending that we all desire.
tenthdoctor45 